Fear Judgement and Grace
This is a topic that has been on my mind a lot lately. I am craving a more graceful approach, and a more graceful appearance. I don't want to make wavering decisions, or have doubts around myself. I want to walk in a room, and rather than observing how others react (or don't react) to me, I want to feel the room, and participate outwardly, rather than turning inward. Does that make sense?
Have you ever felt so analytical that you can't fully enjoy the moment?
I believe self study is undeniably important to becoming a well rounded, grounded, and ever expanding individual, but to an extent. There is a time and many practices designed to embrace self reflection, self study, and it doesn't include judging your entrance into a room. (it feels silly to even type that.)
Perhaps that's really what I'm trying to get to, judgement, of ourselves and others. Think of a place or activity that makes you feel less than, intimidated, or a lack. For me, this is sometimes a yoga class.
Crazy right? Because...I am a yoga teacher....
so why would I feel intimidated? In the past I have attached the cause of these feelings to the people in the class. The girl who is "warming up" with elaborate handstands (that I cannot do yet) or the group of friends chatting about lunch after class. I felt that I was being actively ignored and that the community wasn't for me because they didn't like me...
But then I stepped out of my own shadow, and got perspective. I imagined what others felt when I stepped into the room.
I was dragging behind me rigidity, tension, the assumption of their judgement and let's not forget my own, and fear.
Then it hit me, I am creating my own reality... because I believe that I am less than, not as good as, fearful of, and graceless, that my body language, my vibration, is negative, and low. And guess what, my feelings (and probably yours too) had nothing to do with what everyone else was doing, and everything to do with how I was judging myself.
This is just one narrow example of how we judge ourselves. Do you have any experiences like this? Or specific moments where you catch yourself beating yourself down before you ever had the chance to rise?
I challenge you (and myself) to walk into every room with confidence and grace.
Before you pass through a doorway, pause, take a deep breath in, relax your shoulder, slightly tilt the chin up, exhale, and smile! Then walk in and great the first person you see! "Hello so and so", "Goodmorning to you too", etc. Let your body know that you have arrived and are ready to do what you came to do, whether that be yoga, or work, or sleep, or whatever. Heck, if no one is there, greet the plant, or the cat, or the ant crawling on the ground. Let yourself breathe and enjoy your space. Stop thinking that people care, stop thinking that people feel it's their job to judge you, 9 chances out of 10 no one is judging anything, and if they are, trust that our thoughts shape our reality and their’s is not one you want to be looking into anyway.
Your energy, your time, is irrevocable, so create the highest vibration, and spend your time the way you desire to. Believe that you are graceful, know that you make the best decisions for you, trust yourself.
You are a divine being filled with light and guidance, there is nothing you can do to ruin this. Let yourself move and breathe, create and destroy, ebb and flow, with ease. With grace.
ps: Special thanks to my beautiful souled friend Teala ( @tealajune she is an artist!), for encouraging me to write for the sake of writing...turns out it felt really really great.